Flintstones, drink the Flintstones: Shoddy Goods 018
Why are there two Bedrock-themed bars in Cyprus?
It's not that unusual to see small businesses use random unauthorized characters, especially in countries far from the reach of US copyright law. I dream of eating at Taqueria Chucky. But one cast of cartoon characters keeps popping up decades after their show was cancelled, and millennia after they would've lived. I'm Jason Toon and this is Shoddy Goods, a newsletter by Meh about the stuff people make, buy, and sell - and the fictional characters they dragoon into selling it.
I was working on a live-streamed shopping show a few years ago, and we were talking about ideas for upcoming shows. One of our hosts happened to be taking a vacation to Cyprus, the island nation in the eastern Mediterranean divided between Greek-speaking and Turkish-speaking territories. She'd be willing to shoot some segments on her trip, if we could come up with some ideas and hire a local crew.
A producer who was much more well-traveled than me recommended we shoot something at a Flintstones-themed bar that, she said, "everyone" goes to.
Did I hear that right? Flintstones-themed? Intrigued, I Googled "Flintstones bar Cyprus". Sure enough, up popped Flintstones Bar, in full cartoon Stone Age glory. Located in the tourist town of Paphos, on the island's western coast, Flintstones Bar has hundreds of reviews praising the fun atmosphere, free popcorn, and frozen strawberry daiquiris.
Sure, should make for a watchably weird segment. Maybe the drinks are mixed by the beak of a pterodactyl who shrugs and says "It's a living." I showed the producer the listing and asked if I should call them up to arrange a shoot.
She squinted a second and then said oh, no, not that place. I meant the other Flintstones-themed bar in Cyprus.
This is NOT the Flintstones bar in Cyprus we were looking for.
Yabba-Dabba-Whaaa???
It turns out our producer was thinking of the Bedrock Inn in the larger tourist center of Ayia Napa, way at the eastern end of Cyprus. In keeping with what seems to be the Ayia Napa vibe, this one seems considerably more raucous, with complaints about aggressive bouncers and an obnoxious DJ mixed in with the more positive Google reviews.
Indeed, a brawl at the Bedrock Inn made international news in 2008. Owner Kyriakos Hadjiyiannis claimed that 20 British soldiers rampaged through the place, hitting him over the head with a chair and damaging his eyesight. The accused soldiers were acquitted, and to be fair to the Bedrock Inn, subsequent goings-on have been placid enough not to require the attention of the BBC.
Also, judging by the photos, the Bedrock Inn goes way harder on the Flintstones decor.
A baby crawling on the roof is a bold design choice for a bar.
Anyway, a local crew shot the piece with our host and it was fine. No brawls, no loudmouth DJ. Like so much Internet content, that video segment is lost to history. But I've never stopped being haunted by the fact that there are two Flintstones bars on a Mediterranean island smaller than Connecticut. Why?
First, the obvious question: same owners? Not that I can tell. I couldn't reach anyone on the phone at either one, but there's no apparent connection in any of their various online presences. Nor did any of those many news stories from 2008 mention that Kyriakos Hadjiyiannis had an interest in any other unauthorized Hanna-Barbera tie-in nightclubs. I think we can assume the two are legally unrelated.
Is one ripping off the other? Flintstones Bar says they've been open since 1987, "the oldest bar in Paphos". I can't find an opening date for Bedrock Inn: it seems to have been reasonably well-established by the time of the 2008 imbroglio, but probably hadn't been there for 21-plus years. So if one of them is a knockoff, it's probably Bedrock Inn.
Maybe not, though. The nightlife district in Ayia Napa that Bedrock Inn calls home is rife with heavily themed tourist traps with mock-monumental architecture. There's the Titanic Club, featuring a faux ship colliding with faux icebergs. And the medieval keep of the Castle Club. And the Russian-styled Bar Arbat, lorded over by a giant nesting doll on the roof. And the Car Wash Disco, because what's more fun than a car wash? You get the idea.
So it's not hard to imagine Kyriakos Hadjiyiannis looking for some kind of theme that could be recognizably expressed in cheap facade decor and landing on the simplified Stone Age style of The Flintstones. Whether it was inspired by the already popular establishment at the other end of Cyprus, we'll probably never know.
But wait: a decades-old American cartoon seems like an unpromising theme for a rowdy Euro club, right? Is there some special historical relationship between Cyprus and Bedrock? Is The Flintstones just oddly, inordinately popular there, like Jerry Lewis in France or David Hasselhoff in Germany?
The Stone Age that never quite ended
I'm hampered by not speaking Greek or Turkish, but I can't find any evidence that The Flintstones is, like, "a Cyprus thing". And looking around for other Flintstones-themed stuff around the world reveals a surprisingly global, surprisingly persistent affection for Fred's clan, often expressed in architecture and decor.
There's another Flintstones bar in Greece, and one in the Canary Islands. There used to be two in the Canary Islands until one one closed in 2023. But that's just the beginning.
Superfans could hop around the globe staying in only "modern Stone Age" lodgings, from Il Giardino dei Flintstones B&B in Italy to Tropical Villa Flintstones in Bali, Indonesia to a Flintstones resort in Thailand.
Do you have to stick your feet through the floor?
The Canary Islands are also home to a hotel where guests are greeted by the Flintstones, while a (vaguely, it must be said) Flintstones-themed cabin in Mexico has a head-scratching policy of couples only, no kids.
Hardcore rockheads will prefer the Bedrock-themed resort in Egypt built so every room looks like a cave. And even that level of authenticity is topped by a rival Flintstones hotel in Turkey built into actual caves.
Woolly mammoth vacuum cleaner not included.
Lest you think all this Flintamania is a relic of ancient history, Warner Brothers World in Abu Dhabi unveiled their new Bedrock zone in 2018, four years after Universal Studios Hollywood closed their Flintstones BBQ restaurant.
The crown (literally) for obsessive Flintstones fandom, though, has to go to the Sultan of Johor. For his palace in the Malaysian state by that name, Sultan Ibrahim Ibni Sultan Iskandar went with an over-the-top, whimsical, opulent take on the Flintstones aesthetic. He even bothered to get permission from Hanna-Barbera, something most of the above establishments can't claim.
"I can remember coming home from school and waiting for the cartoon to be on television," Sultan Ibrahim told the Straits Times in 2020. "Fred Flintstone, the main character, remains my favourite. I could never get bored watching the series because it brings back many good memories of my childhood."
A psychedelic Southeast Asian take on the Flintstones? I dig, I dig.
Of course, countless cartoons evoke the same warm 'n' fuzzies for other nostalgic grownups. What those other shows don't have is a signature aesthetic that can be cheaply turned into an immersive experience.
You can find lots of hotels compared to The Jetsons, the other Hanna-Barbera period favorite with a distinctive look, for their Atomic Age style or fancy technology. But none of them call themselves Jetsons Hotels or try to transport you to the show's world. The futuristic Jetsons look requires precision and upkeep to pull off. But if your faux-Flintstones facade is rough-hewn and crumbly, that's a feature, not a bug.
With this level of Flintstones density, it's probably not that weird that a couple of unrelated bars would pop up on the same Mediterranean island.
Whatever the explanation for the Flintstones' leap from vitamins and cereal to unwitting endorsements of margarita nights and all-inclusive vacations, it's doubtful we'll ever see another cartoon turned into so many physical environments in so many parts of the world.
The Simpsons may have taken the record for longest-running animated show, but it inspired exactly one real-world house. And that was built by the company behind the show as a contest prize. The Flintstones' grassroots influence on the hospitality industry writes the show a unique - sing it with me now - page right out of history.
Uh, do we happen to have any Shoddy Goods subscribers who live in Cyprus? Oh fine, I guess we’ll do a work trip out there to check in on their Flintstone obsession. What do you think would make for the weirdest bar or restaurant theme? Let’s hear about ‘em in this week’s Shoddy Goods chat!
—Dave (and the rest of Meh)
Travel back in time with these historic Shoddy Goods moments of yesteryear - or yesterweek, anyway: